Zombie Comic

April 29, 2008

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Urban Zombies and High Rises

April 28, 2008

Today, my post is a question/answer post. One of my readers wrote in with a very important question that directly involves all urban survivors. If there is any possibility that you might be in or near a city when the outbreak occurs, you should read this post carefully.

How do you feel about high-rises, as in “I Am Legend”? Can dead zombies use elevators? - Suzi

Great question, Suzi. Quite often, and especially in the heart of big cities, people try to use the height of sky-scrapers as an advantage against the encroaching dead menace.

There are multiple reasons for the choice:

The height - The height of the buildings give a feeling of safety, and make survivors feel as if they’ve been removed from the armageddon unfolding below.
The reduced access - Keeping in mind the limitations of the zombie (Shelter from the living dead) it’s easy to think that a high-rise building is inaccessible to the average zombie, who can’t use elevators, use keys or climb walls.
Better Surveillance - Limiting his/her scope to one floor, with only one or two entrance/exits makes a survivor feel more in control of what is happening.
Comfort - Being indoors is always preferable to the alternative. A survivor can stay out of the weather and usually maintain some form of air conditioning. And, finally, let’s face it: If the survivor is used to high-rise buildings, it’s going to be psychologically more comforting as well.

The upsides of high-rise buildings certainly make them sound palettable and even preferable to other shelters, but they must never be considered. They are dangerous traps and will expose you to the horrible enemy more easily than an open field. Here are the reasons to avoid high-rise buildings at all costs:

Difficult Access - Often some of the things that make a shelter seem appropriate are reasons that it isn’t appropriate. We musn’t forget that the zombie is a pale and horrible reflection of ourselves. If it’s impossible for a zombie to do something, it may also be impossible for a human. Imagine going out for supplies and being chased back to you living quarters by a hoard of undead. Do you really want to be chased up 40 flights of stairs? And, what about getting the place to begin with? Unless you’re already living there, you would have to fight your way through multiple levels of zombies to find an appropriate living space. It’s impractical and unsafe.
Few exits/entrances - Every benefit comes with a problem. By limiting the number of places that a zombie can use to get in and out, you also limit your own entrances and exits. In an emergency you need as many exits as possible.
It’s a trap - A high-rise is a trap. Imagine the concept of a high building laid on its side. Imagine that you still have to go all the way to one end to get in and out. It looks like a bucket with you, the prey, caught in one end, and the other end open to whatever comes along. Also, I don’t think I have to remind you of the plot of The Towering Inferno, but I will remind you that the rise of the zombies will more than likely be accompanied by many accidental and intentional fires.

So, Suzi, when the end approaches, do everything you can to insure that you are as far away from high-rises as you can get. Don’t put yourself in the position of being the only human left in an infested trap.

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Dagney’s Walk

April 27, 2008

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First Strike of the Catja

April 25, 2008

First Strike of the Catja

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The True Danger of Zombies

April 24, 2008

Zombies Someone asked me recently why I go through the trouble to do so many posts about zombies. I told them, “If I can save at least one person’s life when the unholy horde of undead rise from their cold end and start eating the flesh of their living brethren, it will all be worth it.”

The reason some folks have to be reminded of the importance of readiness is that most of them don’t recognize the inherent danger of the slow-moving zombie. Often times you’ll run across mocking laughter. And, lets face the facts: the shambling gait of the newly risen dead isn’t something that strikes fear in the heart the way a bounding leopard will.

But, the slow, weak movements of the average zombie are, arguably, the zombie’s greatest weapons. Their movements have a tendency to disarm their opponents, making them more likely to make a mistake. Imagine the Tortoise and the Hare.

Here are things to keep in mind that will keep you from letting your guard down around zombies.

Zombies move slowly because they’re dead (See Zombie Locomotion for details) - but they also eat the flesh of the living because they’re dead.
Zombies feel no pain - The reason this is important is: given the proper impetus (e.g. human flesh) a zombie can be persuaded to move its limbs quickly in short bursts of speed, in spite of the physical damage it does to their weakened bodies.
Zombies tend to travel in large groups - Zombie experts still aren’t sure why (whether it’s out of kinship, or greed) but zombies are pack creatures. One zombie may not seem frightening by itself, but you’re more likely to encounter ten zombies than one; and in that situation, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and to make mistakes.
Zombies are tireless - Outrunning a zombie proves nothing in the long run, because a zombie doesn’t stop for rest. On a long enough time line the zombie, much like the slow, ambling tortoise, will catch it’s prey. With one major difference: the jovial tortoise wouldn’t use its dull, crooked teeth to tear bits and pieces out of his friend, the hare.
Zombies don’t know their limits - Something to keep in mind is that a zombie’s only motivation is to eat you, and it is a STRONG motivation. The zombie doesn’t know the science behind its body and it will do anything to get what it wants.

As you can see, the true danger of zombies is their ability to make their living counter-parts think that they are anything but a dangerous and well-equipped foe. Don’t let the zombie throw you off guard. Treat the zombie menace the same way you would treat any other creature that threatens your life, with extreme care and caution without making any assumptions.

And please stop mocking zombies. A bad attitude now will only translate into sloppy habits when the impending attack of the zombies happens later.

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